Oh sweet baby Della Rae… Where do I even begin? Oh, I know, let’s start with the day I found out I was pregnant with baby #2… Shock, mild heart attack, disbelief, insane asylum.. these are just a few of the 1st quick thoughts that ran through my head when I glanced down at the EPT test. You see, to give u a background… it was no secret that our 1st born princess came into this world a hand full and, to this day, not much has changed. Matt and I were about 8 1/2 months into the life of new parenting.. learning to live on little to no sleep, learning to take time to listen to how the other person’s day was when we were honestly too tired to even care, learning to deal with all the things life throws at you when you are clueless new parents, and all of a sudden I didn’t feel “right”. At the time I owned a very busy, very successful hair salon and had just started my own health and wellness business about 4 months prior… Matt had just taken on a new job that required a lot of “after hours studying” needless to say, we were swamped… and every single day, I just continued to tell myself these feelings were normal and this too shall pass! (Insert giggle here) Considering I was still nursing, taking a mild birth control, and had been told I would never even have children, you can imagine the confusion I felt when I found myself checking out at Walgreens with a pregnancy test. There was just something inside of me that needed to prove that these all too familiar feelings were just coincidence. Yes, you guessed it… the following morning I woke up, took the test and went into complete shock! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?? Like literally!?? Haha!!! I have never been so consumed with emotion in my entire life!
Not too long after finding out our incredible news that we were only about 6 months away from having another little bambino, I found myself getting really, really excited! There was no doubt in my mind we had a little boy on the way and life was going to be perfect! White picket fence, baby girl, baby boy and BAM… ultrasound day! Our big announcement was we had another little princess on the way. The good news was, it already looked like a pink bomb had gone off in our home. We had everything girl you could possibly imagine and as much as I thought I wanted a boy, I couldn’t help but be so uncontrollably excited that in just a few short months I would be looking into the eyes of another baby girl!
See here’s the thing: I was terrified with baby #1… but when you’re pregnant for the second time, your life has already changed. You know what to expect. You’re already in the rhythm of taking care of a child, so it’s not the huge “dear God, what is this waking-up-every-two-hours thing?! MAKE IT STOP” feeling that it was the first go around. The funny thing was, as soon as Della Rae was born, there was a whole different feeling that came over me and I’m not sure that I will ever be able to completely explain it.
Second piece of good news: all those worries about how your relationship with your first child will change after your second baby comes along are completely true, but I can promise, as someone who was absolutely consumed by the exact same fears: you have nothing to worry about. Just the fact that you are thinking about this now means that you are paying close attention to your needs and to your child’s needs, and that you will make whatever adjustments you need to to make sure you all feel safe and loved.
In the days leading up to Della’s birth I found myself obsessed with spending “special time” with my first born – taking her out to just-us-two meals, laying with her as long as she wanted at night, buying her every “prize” she could possibly want, literally breathing her in.
But the day Della Rae was born, was like nothing I have ever imagined! As soon as they wheeled that big ole hospital bed into our room with me holding baby Della, Allie Mae’s eyes lit up! Daddy placed her up on the bed beside of us and she leaned over, with this precious little grin on her face and kissed her baby sister on top of the head. There was not a dry eye in the room.. even the nurses had tears in their eyes as she looked her new sister up and down, repeating “awe baby” over and over and resting her little head. Nothing will make your heart melt like this sight. Nothing.
Now, our relationship is just as it ever was; I can’t remember things any other way, and I wouldn’t want to…because there is nothing in this world like watching your baby become a big sister and watch over the little like its the most important job she will ever have.
They say you don’t just have “space” in your heart for more than one child, but that your heart actually grows with each baby…and it’s true.
And finally, there’s this: life starts feeling like it’s running more smoothly when a child grows older, and of course the fact that he or she is more mature is part of it…but it’s also because of you. Because you’ve come into who you are as a parent, and because you know how to be a mother, you learn how to balance… and be a part of a family and all those things that you didn’t know the first time around.
Don’t underestimate how much you are capable of, or how extraordinary you will be when asked to rise to the challenge of parenting two people who completely hold your heart.
You will be extraordinary, and you won’t regret your choice for one single moment. I promise.
Fast forward a year… Now here we are with a beautiful, sassy three year old wildflower and this gorgeous, clumsy roll of giggles following everything she sees her sister do.
I truly love the stage Della is at right now. Sure the temper tantrums are rolling in and I blame them all on “teething” even though you and I both know she is spoiled rotten. I just want to bottle this all up! I want to remember all of her little quirks… the way she is starting to try to pronounce words, the way she uses her sign language my mom taught her to get what she wants because its so adorable no one can resist. I want to remember the way she loves for me to blow raspberries on her belly and cackles so hard she cannot catch her breath when you make silly faces. I never want to forget the way she walks on her tippy toes but only on her right foot when she is being silly or how she can hear one little beat of music and will drop everything to bust out the most adorable dance moves you have ever seen. I love the way she will slowly walk up to you with those big blue eyes, just waiting for you to scoop her up so she can wrap those chunky little arms around your neck and plant a big, open mouthed kiss on you. I never want her to stop looking up to her sister and knowing even though they push and pick, that she is there to protect her always. I love that she recognizes emotions and will console you when you are sad or bust out laughing with the crowd even though she has no idea what is being laughed about. Everything about this curly headed, giggle bug makes my heart smile and reminds me of how truly grateful I am for these precious blessings from above.
So for now I leave this promise…
I promise to teach you to dream big and go after your dreams. No matter how big or small your dreams are, they are important to me and I will always support your hearts desires. I promise to teach you to love yourself, believe in yourself, and value your dreams. I promise to encourage you to embrace your own style even if that means wearing a pirate suit to an Easter egg hunt or wearing angel wings and mixed matched socks to the zoo. I believe its important for you to learn how to be yourself at a young age. I promise to teach you to have courage and be kind. Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone. It can bring a smile to their face when they need it the most, I promise to teach you to respect yourself and your body. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and there is no one else like you! You are unique, you are a gift, remember that! I promise to always provide the best I can. I love spoiling and pampering you with my love and time more than anything. I feel so blessed to be your Mother. I love you always!